Hangover

This graphic pretty much describes my mood this morning. Last night I had a bout with pent up anger that was indulgent, at best, and cruel at worst.

I lost my temper and when I do I say things that are hurtful and damaging. I feel so bad afterwards. It's like a hang-over. I slept with it and I woke up with it. And today I have to deal with my own short comings, my own demons.

The graphic is a stop sign with arrows pointing in 6 directions. It says, "STOP! LOOK!" Something I don't do when I am caught up in the heat of the moment. It doesn't happen quite as often as it use to, but I feel worse about it now than I use to.

On Aug 22nd, I posted the following quote in my journal:

"Skillful speech not only means that we pay attention to the words we speak and to their tone but also requires that our words reflect compassion and concern for others and that they help and heal, rather than wound and destroy." ~Bjante Henepola Gunaratana, "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness"

In this instance, I failed miserably. But I refuse to give up. I will get back on the horse and try again. And I will try to repair the hurt I caused Frankye, as she was the recipient of my ill-mannered behavior.

One might ask, why would I post this to a web log? This weblog is like a letter to myself. My goal is to be honest with myself and share with family and friends - me. Warts and all, as they say. Maybe Frankye is right. Maybe this is just arrogance.