a paint box

I have many paint boxes. I have an oil paint box, an acrylic paint box, a gouache paint box, 2 large watercolor paint boxes, and about 5 small travel watercolor kits. Most of them have been gifts I received over the years.

When I am painting in little sketch books or my journal, I tend to use my Windsor Newton travel watercolor box whether I am traveling or at home. Until recently, I didn’t have a box that I carried with me everyday in my shoulder bag. About 2 months ago I made one out of an Altoids box. After a short time that too seemed too big.

I recently found amongst my things a little 2 ½” x 3” tin box that can hold 12 half-pans of watercolor firmly. The lid is hinged on one-side and when opened both sides lay flat. The lid can be used as a mixing palette. It’s very lightweight and convenient. It fits in my pencil case or slips into my pocket easily. I have a Niji mini waterbrush, 6" log when capped. Today I used it at work and there was no fuss and no muss. I like it.

I Hate This War

I hate this war. I am so angry at the people who created it. It has caused and continues to cause so much pain and suffering to so many.

I've had my own private protest against this war going for over 3 years now. On the first Veteran's Day after the start of the Iraq war I hung the American flag on the flag pole by the front gate of my house. I have not taken it down since that day. It is looking disheveled, discolored, and worn. It is a metaphor for the effect this war is having on Americans. I will not remove the flag, no matter how tattered it becomes, until the last American soldier is home from Iraq.

Everyday something comes out in the news about how this war is mishandled, how our leaders lied and manipulated the truth to get this war. We hear stories of veterans who's lives and bodies have been irrevocably damaged by the war are poorly treated in VA hospitals overflowing and underfunded. We hear stories of helicopter shootdowns, car bombs, suicide bombers and ruthless attacks on Americans who would not be in harm's way were they not sent to Iraq. 3,148 American military killed to date. Stories of innocent Iraqi civilians being slaughtered on a daily basis are mind numbing. The are dying at a rate of almost 100 a day.

This war is an abomination. The leadership of our government is an abomination. We MUST make a change. We must make it soon.

my journal

I have kept a journal for over 30 years. When I was young I wrote in an old ledger. It was huge. 17" x 12" tall and heavy. It had lined, numbered pages and I wrote long narratives in pen. I had that journal for several years. I finally got tired of it and moved to an 8" x 12" bound blank-page sketch book. I began writing in different colored inks, script sometimes, print other times. I began gluing in movie tickets and photos and doing collages. I have filled many, many of those sketch books. I would use one book a year. Some years I had to use more than one book. Whether I had completed the book or not I would start a new book each and every January 1st. Occassionally, I would off road to another smaller art book for special trips or themes.

About 8 years ago I began keeping my journal in a 5 1/2" x 8" unlined book that I bought from Levenger's. Levenger's sells this wonderful book called the Stanley Journal. It has a nice leather sleeve and replaceable journal incerts. I used this journal for about 6 years. As I began to paint more frequently in my journals the thinness of the paper became an issue. While the paper is lovely, it didn't handle fountain pen or markers without bleeding through.

About 2 years ago I began using a moleskine sketchbook as a journal. I've used the 5" x 8 1/4" sketchbook, plain notebook, and the squared notebook. While I love the design and feel of the book itself, none of them take water color paint well. The thinner paper of the plain notebook buckles easily and certain inks bleed through. The heavy sketchbook paper seems to have some kind of coating that causes water color paint to bead on it. However, liking the book itself, I persevered and have adjusted to this quirkiness in the moleskine sketchbook.

My most recent change in journals has been to the 3 1/2" x 5 1/2" moleskine sketchbook. The size forces me to write smaller and to journal alongside drawings and doodles. I've been using the smaller sketchbooks for about 3 years to do small drawings and paintings but haven't used them as a journal. I've filled 1/2 a dozen of these little books and carried them along with my larger journal. Too much stuff. So I'm downsizing.

With money from my mom for xmas I've purchased a cover for my moleskine sketchbook from Renaissance-Art. It fits the small book like a glove. The leather is high quality, durable and attactive. The stitching is strong and should wear well. The cover doesn't hinder the ease and comfort of the moleskine at all. Renaissance Art also makes covers for the larger sized moleskine as well. I'm pleased with this new variation of my journal. I highly recommend this product to other moleskine lovers.

A Birthday

Today is the 54th birthday of my favorite person in the whole world - my sister, Brenda. Happy Birthday Bren! I miss you and hope to see you soon.

February 12th

I remember when the nation celebrated the birthday of Abraham Lincoln as a separate holiday. Prior to the acceptance of M.L.King's birthday as a national holiday we looked forward to 2 national holidays in February - Feb 12th and Feb 22nd for George Washington's birthday. Two 3-day weekends in the coldest month of the winter was a welcome relief from "having" to go out into the bitter cold.

No sense in avoiding this next paragraph.

C & S, "the" best friends, moved yesterday morning to MD. They came and picked up their dogs, the movers packed their belongings and they drove north to their new home. So it's done. We now live 800+ miles apart. For right now it just feels like any other Monday. I don't usually see them during the week. Sometimes C comes over on Wednesday nights, but our usual time together is Friday night and either Sat or Sun or both. During the week we exchange email and phone calls. This week will feel typical. This weekend I am going away and would not see them anyway, and then next week, another typical week of emails and phone calls. After that - adjustment.

I had trouble with my car and it is in the shop. I was in Fernandina Beach and the car was over heating like crazy. I made it back to town and took it to the mechanic and he opened the hood and saw immediately that the radiator was cracked. So the radiator has to be replaced. He will take the opportunity to replace all the hoses and $456 later I should be safe to drive to S. Florida on Friday. I really can't complain about it. This car has been strong and dependable for 10 years. I'm almost at 101,000 miles. We've only spent a moderate amount on general, regular maintenance. It's never been a problem.

I've got a damn cold again. Doesn't seem as bad as it was 2 months ago when I had it. But it's still a pain in the ass. I'm working through it and just feeling like shit, which I would feel like if I stayed home in bed all day with it. Might as well work. F has it too and she has it worse than me this time.

I've been trying to do at least one sketch everyday. I am trying to limber up my drawing skills. I hope to do a lot of quick sketches when we are in Santa Fe in April. I don't want to be so rusty.

The thing about drawing is the more I do it the easier it gets and that happens relatively quickly. But I never feel competent or secure in that and as a result it is not relaxing for me to draw. It creates tension for me. I have performance anxiety about it. Even if it's just me and I can throw the paper away and no one will know. I could still feel embarassed to myself about my lack of drawing skills. I'm trying to get past that and draw anyway. I'd like to work through the anxiety and get to a place where I can enjoy it like I enjoy doing abstract works.

When I do abstract drawings it doesn't matter to me if it doesn't work. Most of them don't. That's okay because I enjoyed the time I spent doing it whether it works as a picture or not. When it does work as a picture it is something I will enjoy each time I look at it. When it doesn't, I just look at the next picture.

And tomorrow is another day.

The Rising Swarm

We've been gifted with the "swarm" visiting us again, teaching me more than I ever wanted to know about patience. Notice I didn't say more than I needed to know. The swarm has grown by one, there are now 7 dachshunds when all together. For the most part 6 hang out in the same place at any given time.

In the morning, the only free and alone time I have, they pile up on my lap, spill across my thighs, make themselves comfortable, and go to sleep. Part of my morning schedule is to write in my journal, do some doodling, paint in wc, etc. What skills I am learning do be able to do all this with a swarm pile in my lap!

This morning I wrote about a dream I had travelling the country in a 5th wheel with (only) 2 dachshunds. I did this quick sketch of the trailer from my dreams while leaning my 3 1/2" x 5 1/2" moleskine sketchbook on Ben's head. Not too bad. A few sweeping strokes as he tried to watch what I was doing. I didn't mind that so much as I minded his snicker when he saw the drawing.

"The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves." (Carl Jung)