Happy Birthday Pooper!!!

Today is my Pooper's birthday. She is 37 YEARS OOOOOOOOOLLLLDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my, how and when did that happen. I love you and miss you Clio! Happy Birthday, baby.

Lots going on in this past week. Busy like crazy at work. Nothing new about that. I am enjoying working with my boss JD. We worked together in the past for about 4 years and are once again in an easy relationship. A job opened last week in my former dept. and I opted not to apply for it. I will stay where I am and continue trying to contribute something worthwhile to this project.

Frankye came home after a 17 day trip to Annapolis. While all creatos in the house missed her, we had gotten into a routine of day to day activity that was quiet and pleasant. However, if one were sensitive, one could have gotten offended when every being in the house, including spiders and bugs, RAN TO THE DOOR at top speed the moment they heard her voice. I heard them, under their breath, screaming in a whisper....she's home, she's home, she's home!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank God, it's over!

The other thing that happened is my father was diagnosed with a tumor in his prostate. Not so unusual in a 78 year old man. Last week he had a biopsy and a procedure to remove the tumor, regardless if it was malignant or not, was scheduled for this week. As the week wore on, he began to lose his appetite, he got weak, and was urinating like crazy. By Saturday, he was so dizzy and dehydrated that he fell while bringing laundry in. He hit his head and couldn't get up. He refused to allow my mother to call the EMS. Instead she called my brother and nephews. They were there in a flash and were able to get him up. If it had to happen, I'm glad it happened on a Saturday when they were home.

Once my dad was up and tended to, my mother called my dad's doctor and the doctor spoke to my father and insisted he be taken to the hospital. He entered through the ER on Saturday. He had developed an infection from the biopsy, became dehydrated, his blood pressure went into the basement, and his heart rate became very elevated. His infection is being treated IV, his bp is getting better, but his heart rate has not slowed down. He is feeling better, has the energy to be agitated about the culture and schedule of hospital life, but hasn't gotten any indication of when he may be returning home. Not sure if they will keep him in and do the tumor removal while he is in the hospital or not.

I feel as though my parents have turned a corner. They have turned the corner of vulnerability, of aging to the point of increased frailty, not so much in their ability to be mobile, but in their ability to recover from accidents and illness. My mother has been home alone since my dad is in the hospital. She hasn't wanted anyone to come over and stay with her. I know she is scared. She hasn't been sleeping well. She is anxious about losing my father. She is anxious and when she is anxious she cleans. She tells me on the phone that she is cleaning to prepare for my father's return. A nice sentiment, but the house is not now, nor is it ever, not clean.

I'm frightened too. I'm frightened for them both. I'm frightened for the one who is left. Whichever one it is, will have a rough time of it. I know they both think of death. They both know it is coming. They have made arrangements, and have set up everything in our names jointly with theirs. That works really well if they go together. I don’t think that I, my siblings, or either of them are prepared for a long protracted illness for either of them. How do you do that? Other than knowing the possibilities, how do you gracefully prepare for that inevitability?

My mother is the matriarch of her family. She is the oldest of her generation. Three of her female cousins have died in the past 4 years. Two were in the their 50’s and one was 68 when she died this past year. My father is the patriarch of his family. He is the oldest male. He lost his eldest brother (and closest friend) in 1980. He just recently lost an elder sister. He has 3 other siblings alive, only one older than he. It is their time. They know it more than I do. As I am aware of my own aging in ways others do not yet detect in me.

This has been my week. I've had 3 joys in my week: watching the visit of H.H. Karmapa from afar; the return of Frankye safe and sound; and the news that my nephew Joseph and wife Karen are expecting their 2nd child!