....you get what you need...

I'm signed up to the Beliefnet Buddhist Wisdom listserv and everyday I get a message in my email box with some pearl of Buddhist wisdom. Some of them go over my head. I particulary have trouble with the ones that deal with higher teachings on emptiness and suchness. Most of them are nice and understandable and are mildly interesting. Every once in a while I get one that hits me where I live. Today, I received one of those. It's worth passing on to those who don't get Buddha in their email.

Whatever attitudes we habitually use toward ourselves, we will use on others, and whatever attitudes we habitually use toward others, we will use on ourselves. The situation is comparable to our serving food to ourselves and to other people from the same bowl. Everyone ends up eating the same thing--we must examine carefully what we are dishing out.

~ Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness"

I know that is not about food, but (not) speaking of food...

I am trying to be more conscious of my eating because it has gotten way out of control of late. I've also lost a lot of bloat in the past several days so I feel more myself again. I am very struck by how much I am obsessing about food today. In general, on any given day at work, I can eat my way around the office (but don't). Many people here have candy bowls on their desks and everyone is free to dip. I also contribute $$ to one woman who has a nice candy dish right near the back door -- so many people stop and dip. Well, today I have't dipped in anybody's dish. But I sure am thinking about it. I think instead I will eat a small raisin snack I brought to work with me. I've also just finished a large cup of green tea. But I want more of that as well.

So here I am at another beginning, trying to follow a food plan. Not a diet. A food plan that includes regular food, but no sugar (candy) noshing. No late night high caloric deserts. No mega-sized portions for dinner. After all, my pouch is only the size of a large thimble! And more veggies and salad. Because there is so much contraband around here it is often easier for me to eat healthier and lower calories on time off from work. I mostly eat my lunch in the office these days and that has lessened my intake but has also reduced the amount of salad I'm eating.

I think the next time I have surgery for my eating disorder it should be brain surgery.

But back to Buddha. I liked today's words of wisdom. It is easy for me to point at the behavior of others as the source of my pain or discomfort than it is for me to see that perhaps I am my own pain. When I can remember that I am getting what I'm giving it is easier for me to focus on me and how I am treating myself as well as others.

The other side of that is it is easier to be patient and gentle with the ill-behavior of others when I can remember that they are causing themselves the same pain as they are causing me. That they are in pain and putting it out and need compassion and kindness to learn how to treat themselves better.

Can a student be a teacher? Only a true student can be a teacher. Can a submissive be a Dominant? Only a true submissive can be a Dominant.