Sympathy Fertility

This has been a busy week. At work we are moving closer and closer to the start of school on August 20th. Our teachers started back today, working to get their classrooms ready for the new children. Today 20 of us met for lunch in Starke to say goodbye to a loved co-worker who is moving on to another job. She's a wonderful, wonderful teacher, but really needs a break. She's had tough classrooms for the past 2 years and that added to the fatigue of being a teacher for many years, just burnt her to a crisp. So while I will miss her very much, I'm happy she has found something else, some other way to give to her community.

Last weekend friends were visiting and it ended on a rather stressful and sad note. The stress and sadness has lingered throughout the week. Change is so painful. It often feels insurmountable. It is unavoidable. It is the greatest source of growth but I hate the pain of it. My own and the pain of others. The week has ended more painfully than the weekend did.

Throughout the weekend and the beginning of the week I waited in excited anticipation for the birth of my nephew's first child. He arrived Wednesday morning and is doing really, really well on this, his 3rd day back on earth. I felt such joy and such relief that this baby was healthy. Unfortunately, their first pregnancy did not go well and the fetus was determined to have severe spina bifida. There was a lot of anxiety for me about this pregnancy because of it. But all is well and I am so relieved.

So relieved, in fact, that I celebrated Joe and Karen's fertility by having a full blown period 7 years after my last period. I am in my mid 50's and began menopause at about 45. I thought I was done, or certainly on the last side of it. For about 10 days I have felt like I was retaining water, my breasts have been sore, and Thursday I had bad cramps. Low and behold, by thursday evening I was bleeding, just like the old days. Today it was worse. I will go to a gyn asap because this can be more than just sympathy fertility I am experiencing. It could mean there is a problem.

While it's been a good week on many fronts, it's been a difficult and at times trying one on other fronts. And now it's the weekend.