Ya Gotta Have Friends

One of my favorite Bette Midler songs is "Friends." It's a bitter sweet song but hopeful. I always prefer hopeful.

And I am all alone.
There is no one here beside me.
And my problems have all gone.
There is no one to deride me.

But you got to have friends.
The feeling's oh so strong.
You got to have friends
to make that day last long.

I had some firends but they're gone,
somethin' came and took them away.
And from the dusk 'til the dawn
here is where I'll stay.

Standing at the end of the road, boys,
waiting for my new friends to come.
I don't care if I'm hungry or poor,
I'm gonna get me some of them.

'Cause you got to have friends.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, friends.
That's right you, oh you, yeah you,
I said you gotta have some friends,
I'm talkin' about friends, that's right, friends.
Friends, friends, friends.

I had some firends, oh, but they're all gone, gone,
someone came and snatched them away.
And from the dusk until the very dawn, you know,
here is where I gotta stay, here is where I gotta stay.

And I'm standing at the end of a real long road
and I'm waiting for my new friends to come.
I don't care if I'm hungry or freezin' cold,
I'm gonna get me some of them.

'Cause you gotta have friends,
that's right, friends, friends.
I gotta me my, I gotta me my, I gotta me my,
look around and see all of my friends.
Oh, friends, that's right, friends, friends,
friends, friends, friends, friends, oh,
friends, you gotta have friends . . .

I am often preoccupied with figuring out how I'm going to get enough "alone time." There are times when it's a mantra. I find that when I get time to be alone I am usually quickly sated and happy to back among my friends and family. While I would love to be the kind of person who could go to the Himalayas and live in a cave for the rest of my life, I am not that person. The dharma tells us, too, to seek friends:

Find a friend to be with and stay in that relationship, avoiding the dangers of hurting others. Stay with your friend and become mindful and joyful. If you can find no friend, then go on by yourself. Better to carry on alone than live with the foolish. Journey on alone, unconcerned, working no evil, like the bull elephant in the jungle. -Sunnata Vagga

I'm a person who needs people in life. Quality always above quantity. When I was younger quantity was far more important. It hasn't been for a long time now. I have a handful of good friends now. The quality of these friendships is rich and deep. In many ways, far deeper for me than ever before.

I find myself being more open and honest about my life and feelings. It's always been hard for me to share the little thoughts, the little things that occupy my time and mind. For some reason it has always seemed to me that the little things reveal who you really are. As they say, the devil is in the details. But I'm, (YIKES!!!!), allowing people to know more about the little things about me and it's getting less scary all the time.