The Wit and Wisdom of Kurt Vonnegut

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

I don't know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an unholy disorder. We call ourselves "Our Lady of Perpetual Astonishment."

Evolution is so creative. That's how we got giraffes.

We are here on earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.

The highest treason in the USA is to say that Americans are not loved, no matter where they are or what they are doing there.

There are two things about American culture no Martian would ever understand. What is it, what can it possibly be about blowjobs and golf?

Life is no way to treat an animal.

My Father said, "when in doubt, castle."

~all quotes from A Man Without a Country by Kurt Vonnegut