WEDnesDAY

Had an appointment with my shrink today. Talked about the vacation and holiday and family. I talked about my childhood and my parents and how I thought I was the kind of child who would have responded well to 30 seconds of explanation about why some behaviors were unreasonable coupled with appropriate behavior modeling. Instead I had the sledge hammer approach to child rearing. I talked about going deep within myself to find quiet and solace. I talked about the importance of books and theatre and art in helping me explore a life worth living.

We also talked about aging and no longer being excited by or attached to holiday rituals. I've been feeling particularly annoyed by the over emphasis on commercial aspects of the holiday. In some ways it has had a positive effect on me. I have no xmas list. There is nothing I want or need. The only thing I look forward to for the holidays is having more free time to spend with F, my pups, my friends, time home, quiet, relaxed.

My friend, Josh, found me a website for cheap air tix and I will be able to fly to Atlanta to see Clio in January. She's been doing a lot of jewelry making and is hoping to ship some to her sister to sell in Denmark. I'm going to bring my camera and photograph some of it. I am very excited about the coming trip to see Clio. I can't remember how long it's been since she and I had time to just hang out together. However long it's been, it's been too long.

My mother is annoying me with her concern for my niece. My mother is overly involved in the lives of her grown grandchildren -- especially my brother's children. She keeps pressuring me to call her. When I tell her I haven't had the time she cries and tells me how worried she is about her and she can't sleep for her worry. Oy. Such drama. I guess that's what happens when you don't have books and art and intellectually interesting and fun friends in your life. You get theatre where you can.

The above b & w photo was taken in November 2005 on the back porch of the house C & S rented in No. Carolina last year. They generously shared it with us for a week and we had a fabulous time.