Sorrow Transcends

Frankye and her family had a most difficult day yesterday. They were confronted with the undeniable evidence of their loss. Knowing something is true and then seeing it's true are two different things.

Frankye, her daughter, and I went to a private viewing of her son's body. We went a little later in the day allowing his wife and children to have time together there. Without planning it we arrived at the same time as Frankye's ex-husband and his wife. Frankye and Bryant were married for 15 years and had two children together. There was a lot of pain in their break-up, as there often is, and their lives went separate ways, living in differenct regions of the country.

Yesterday those two lives converged again at a funeral home in South Carolina. Upon seeing each other in the parking lot they embraced. It was as if seeing each other there at the same time made it even more real. Something neither of them wanted to believe.

We all entered the funeral home and made our way to where Todd was laid-out. Bryant couldn't go in at first. Frankye sat and talked with him and assured him that it was ok if he didn't go in. Frankye and Shannon and I went in. They were devastated by the evidence of the awful truth about Todd. Their pain just over flowed. I watched as Frankye, with trembling hands, stroked Todd's face and hair. She spoke to him and wept deeply. She read scriptures that he loved and wept some more.

After a short time Bryant came in and was also overwhelmed with his grief. Then Bryant and Frankye, apart so many decades, sat side-by-side a foot from Todd's casket and holding hands wept their pain in front of the man they made together. Sorrow transcended into love and into forgiveness.

Today is the funeral and there are more people coming. Frankye's siblings will arrive, her ex, Kerry, and her son, Jack, who grew up with Todd arrived late last night. All the grand children, but one, will be there. A large community of friends, many of whom wept openly at Todd's casket last night, will come for the funeral. We'll all be there to say goodbye to Todd one last time.

It's been an emotional and draining time for everyone, including me. Watching people you love in so much pain is difficult. Not being able to do anything but offer slight comfort is also difficult. Frankye said it was the second hardest day of her life. The first hardest day was Tuesday, the day she found out Todd had died. I can't make any of this un-happen. I can only hold her hand while it is happening.