"To have been distracted to such a degree that one no longer notices that one's mind has strayed from what once was. By then, perhaps, life has become only what one has been distracted by, only to be distracted again. Life?" ~ Marion S. Turner

Loving Kindness And BuddhaNature

It's Fryday!

I love Frydays. The end of the work week, and the weekend poised to begin. It's 7 a.m. and the work day is still ahead of me, but it will be a good day. Today at work we are having a 2:00 PM dessert party. Everyone is to bring their favorite dessert and the recipe for how to make it. Should be fun. I will not bring anything.

I slept well, though I woke a number of times during the night. I took an aleve before bed and I woke feeling good. F was still up when I got up, and she will probably sleep all day. Not sure what we will do for tonight. Well, actually, I do know -- we will have dinner and then talk, play with the animals, and watch TV. The unknown is what we will have for dinner. Life has to have some mystery.

10 Questions a Buddhist Asks Everyday

1) Did I protect life today?
2) Did I honor other people’s property?
3) Did I adhere to my vow of sexual purity?
4) Did I try to be totally truthful all day long?
5) Do I speak in ways that tried to bring people together?
6) Did I speak gently to other people?
7) Did I try to speak meaningfully?
8) When I saw someone else get something nice, was I happy for them?
9) Did I feel for other people who have a misfortune?
10) Did I maintain a Buddhist World View?

Practice Saturday

Practice with sangha is on the agenda for today. Afterwards F and I will have lots of errands to do.

Yesterday my sole (soul) practice was being a slug. I feel mentally and emotionally refreshed. More rested than I have felt in months. It amazes me how a day alone can feed me and rejuvenate me. I got what I needed yesterday - from me.

F and I had an enjoyable evening. I would say that it was very relaxed, but not all of it was. Between F and I it was great. She joined me in the den at 6:30. I made her eggs & cheese with multi-grain toast and a cup of tea for her 6:30 PM breakfast. I had egg noodle with butter and locatelli romano cheese - the ultimate comfort food!

What was unsettling was a dvd we watched called "An American Crime." It was a brutal movie based on a true story that took place in Indiana in the 1960's. A woman and her children scapegoat a 16 year old girl boarding with them while her parents are traveling with a carnival. The child is imprisoned in the basement of the house and repeatedly tortured, burned, and branded not only by the mother and her children, but by neighborhood teenagers who hang out in the house. The girl dies as a result of the abuse and all people, even the youngest child who participated, are charged with various crimes related to the murder. It was such an unsettling movie. Painful to watch and true which made it even more horrifying.

Fryday afternoon

I have had exactly the day I needed to have. Quiet. Alone. F is sleeping in and enjoying alone time in the back of the house.

I did some web searching. Listened to the news. Watched Sarah Palin resign her governorship without giving a reason (in no less than about 10,000 words). Did some reading. Listened to my on-the-go playlist and Jakob Dylan's solo album on my iPod. Cut the dog's nails. Ate breakfast and lunch, drank a pot of coffee and am thinking about having another pot. Watched reruns of Bones and NCIS. Painted some pages in my moleskine journal. I prepaint the pages. I hate writing on a blank page.

My iPod on-the-go playlist:
Streets of Philadelphia - Springsteen
Lady In Red - Chris De Burg
Levon - Elton John
Faithfully - Journey
Hallelluah (live) - k.d. lang
Close My Eyes Forever - Lita Ford/Ozzie Osbourne
Ohio - Crosby Stills Nash & Young
Love Hurts - Cher
Unbreak My Heart - Toni Braxton
One - U2
Pipes of Peace - Paul McCartney
Knocking on Heaven's Door (live) Bob Dylan & the Band
Coming Home - Delaney & Bonnie with Eric Clapton

I change it about every 4 or 5 days. Some of the tunes stay longer. Sometimes I change the sequence but keep the same songs longer.

Fryday

I slept in this morning - til 7:15. I'm sure it was due to very late night efforts by F, letting the dogs out late and feeding them snacks. I'm grateful, I needed the sleep.

I'm having a nice quiet morning. I watched a few brief art videos on youtube posted by the Tate Gallery in London. I saw a couple of interesting ones, David Hockney answering questions sent via twitter, Damien Hirst on Francis Bacon, critic review of Rothko exhibit, a view of the Tate Klimt exhibit, an excellent review of the Tate Cy Twombly exhibit.

One of the things I jotted in my journal was the critic's comment about a huge Klimt mural; he described one section as depicting "the enemies of humanity: sickness, madness, and death." The Buddha, as well as hindu vedic scripture, talks about the realities (four noble truths) of man being birth, sickness, old age and death. I think madness would come under the category of sickness, but hearing it singled out rang loud to me.

Madness. The world is overcome with the sufferers of madness, in varying degrees. There's the madness of those who hallucinate and hear voices, and live painful, tortured lives in solitude and despair. There's the madness of serial killers and mass murderers who strike out their mad rage at others. There's the madness of Hitler, Kim Jong Il, Stalin, Idi Amin, and way too many others throughout human history, who instigate and commit genocide. There's the madness of Dick Cheney and G.W. Bush and the havoc they wreaked on our country, Iraq, and the exacerbation of the problems in the middle east. There's the madness of ideas, like: who ever has the most nuclear bombs is the safest, or the strongest are the most moral, or war is worth the sacrifices of others. War is never worth it. You can't fight violence with violence, or hatred with hatred, or madness with madness. Of all the "enemies of humanity" madness is certainly the most lethal. It is more than sickness or disease. It is in a separate category. Klimt was very right about that.

My plan for the rest of the day is - no plan. I want a day with nothing but tasks necessary to the sustenance of my life and the life of my animals. That's it! NOTHING ELSE. The rest will be open to impulse or lack thereof, if that is my state.

Friday on Thursday

Today is my Friday, even though it's Thursday. What a mind f**k we have been programmed into us. I was just going to write that I hate time, but time is not anything, it is nothing, there is nothing to hate. What I hate is the regimentation. The living on a schedule EVERY F**KING DAY of my life. Every day, day after day. What is a day? Is it only the time between sleeps? Is it daylight time? Is it a fraction of a life?

Oy, I'm in one of those moods. Time for an attitude adjustment. The positive. The positive is that over the next 3 days, I have only one commitment: going to sangha on Saturday. That's it. My work week has been exhausting. partly because I have been so busy I can barely breathe; partly because I am still tired from my trip to S.FL. Boy, that wore me out. If Brenda hadn't been there it would have been even worse. Sharing a room with her again after 40+ years was fun and comforting through the storm. My mother seems to be healing well. Glad things are better down there for them both.

July 4th weekend coming. I hope it will be quiet. It doesn't bother me much but it does freak the dogs. They will be on edge all day. Kohl has not yet experienced fireworks noise. It will be interesting to see how he reacts. He is one fun cat. Lots of personality, lots of energy, (except when napping between my legs on my recliner - like right now), lots of piss and vinegar!

I'm reading Seeking Peace by Mary Pipher. It's quite good. I see myself, I see Frankye, some of Lori. It's interesting and often quite witty. I've also just begun West With The Night by Beryl Markham, a book I have wanted to read for some time. On my iPod I just put And The Hippos Were Boiled In Their Tanks by William S. Burroughs and Jack Kerouac, a murder mystery based on a true story, co-written in alternating chapters. I'm looking forward to listening to that.

That's it for now. I hope to write more this weekend.

P.S. That's a photo of our old gal, Mittens, with her "huh?" expression.